


Some Twisted Admiration

by AnAngryCat (Gummy_Squid)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gummy_Squid/pseuds/AnAngryCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quarters, along with Eggs and Biscuits, go to retrieve a safe. There, Quarters learns that there is a little more to Biscuits than one would think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Twisted Admiration

You hate crowds, loud noise, and the sound of poor people enjoying themselves, that’s why you decided to go about this heist a different way. The others seemed a little peeved that you’d rather go through the basement, you don’t know what they expected, but bursting into the casino with your minigun shooting down all in sight tactlessly is not how you prefer to do things, though that would have taken less time. The gang was hitting several locations tonight, at this one, five members of the team was assigned, yourself included. Itchy and Die remained on the upper floors, and knowing them, they would get nothing done and spend their time cheating at card games and drinking. You, on the other hand, have a gold plated machine gun at home  that you would really like to finish polishing so you can properly display it with the rest of your collection of armaments. Crowbar has mentioned to you several times what a waste it was to keep them on display when they could be put to use, you simply tell him that you would have used it on at least half of the members of the gang by now but wasting ammo on such dullards would have certainly decreased their value.

“Hey Quarters, where we going?” you cringed at the irritating voice coming from behind you. Eggs was breathing heavily and if he stood any closer to you, you would feel like having to burn your clothing when you got home just for having any particle of him on you. Speaking of dullards, the other two assigned to this location, Eggs and Biscuits, had to follow you through the basement. Eggs is banned from almost every establishment in the city, including this one, and simple disguises didn’t work for him so he usually had to sit certain heists out, but not tonight, unfortunately for you.

“To the safe,” you say simply. Biscuits followed at a distance. He was pretty quiet, or maybe he actually did talk, but could never get his own voice over Eggs.

“What’s in the safe?” Eggs asks you, he starts to circle around as you walk. you which you find very annoying. You don’t answer his inane question and walk faster.

“Maybe it’s money, like how it usually is,” Biscuits muttered. Eggs stopped circling. You glanced Biscuits getting reprimanded by Eggs for whatever reason. You didn’t care, you just wanted to find the damn money and get out of there. There were guards at the end of the hall so you demanded Eggs to shut his trap.

Before you could plan a course of action, Eggs runs down the hallway, screeching and throwing what looked like shit in his hand at the guards. The guards begin shooting so you duck behind  a wall. You see Biscuits staring blankly at the scene.

You peek and see Eggs looking wildly through his coat, “Drat! It appears I have forgotten my egg timer!” you see that it was actually in his back pocket but the oaf couldn’t reach that far. He was gunned down, you sigh contentedly at the beauty of this bloodshed, nothing smelled fresher to you than hot lead and blood. You awake from your daze from the sound of more gunshots and duck behind the wall. You ready your gun when you see biscuits dash forward.

“Eggs, no!”

“Biscuits, hold on!” you say as you lazily raise your arm, you were not about to risk your own life for his but you would surely get in trouble if the others find out you let both of them die. You see that he trips as bullets whiz past. You ready your gun and shoot down all of the guards before they even aim at you. In about two seconds, they lied lifeless on the floor. You go to see if Biscuits was shot. No, hes fine, that’s good, you think, one less body to lug around. You go over to Eggs who twitched and bled out on the ground.

“Q-quarters…” he chokes, you kneel down, certain this is a last dying wish that you don’t plan to fulfil, “Tell Biscuits… He’s not the beneficiary.”

“What?!” you hear Biscuit shout.

“Yeah, sorry, buddy, you made for a good bro and test subject, but I only put Die and Sawbuck in my will, I would have put you but it kind of… slipped my mind I guess.”

“How do you remember Sawbuck and Die and not remember me?! Those guys are jerks! I almost died for your stupid experiments!”

“They’re not stupid, THEY’RE SCIENCE!” Eggs coughed a bit. You just stood back and lit up a cigar as you watched them argue, you wonder what would possibly be on Eggs’ will anyhow. If there’s no money, then there’s no point, you thought. Biscuits seemed furious, he even had the gall to take one of your guns right out of your holster around your waist. You’re about to back hand him when you see him shoot Eggs in the head perhaps 6 times in blind rage. You stood and smoked, enjoying the humorous display.

After the twentieth time of making sure Eggs was dead, his head being a mass of brain matter stew as Biscuits furiously stomped around in it, you finally tell him, “alright, enough, you're getting blood on my shoes.”

“Oh, sorry, um here’s your gun,” he hands it to you but you back away, feeling slightly repulsed that his grubby hands had even touched it.

“Why don’t you keep it, it might be the only thing of value you’ve ever been given anyhow,” you meant this literally, you remember buying that gun for a hefty price but it was pretty lousy and also just a handgun so you wouldn’t mind giving it up, it was probably worth more than Biscuits anyhow.

Biscuits face lit up, “you mean it? You won’t just take it away from me like Eggs always does, will you?”

“Eggs is dead, and no, I would not want that thing back after it had been given to you.” Biscuits became flushed for whatever reason, you ignored him and glanced at the body, “You’re execution was sloppy but the brutality was a job well done, too bad it was one of our allies.”

“I’m sure he has a clone somewhere, but I knew he left me out of his will!”

“hm yes, I saw that, what's so good about his will anyways?” you say out of genuine curiosity.

“the egg timer! that would be so convenient to have with my oven.”

You pause for a moment and think, did that idiot really think it would be a good idea to let Sawbuck and Die be able to make clones of themselves? You smash the egg timer on the corpse to make sure Biscuits never has that power either.

Biscuits pouted, “darn it was destroyed! That means this really isn’t the original Eggs.”

“You seem eager to have him dead, aren’t you guys, like, brothers? or lovers or something?”

“No, I hate him,” his voice trailed off, again, you didn’t care. You threw your finished cigar butt on the ground and kept walking. You heard wet crunching noises from behind and noticed Biscuits wasn’t following you. You turned around to find him filleting Eggs’ corpse with a rusty makeshift knife.

It was a bit grotesque but something about it seemed pleasant, what a way to satisfy one’s grudge for another, but you refrained from feeling any admiration, afterall, this was still Biscuits.

He sees you staring, most probably with your brow raised, and states, “waste not, want not!”

“How delightfully disgusting, you’re now a little farther off from my hit list than the rest of the gang, congratulations for you.”

Again He turned red, it was making you uncomfortable, he held some meat in the air, “would you like some?”

“As much as I like raw meat from filthy dead comrades, I would much rather get to this safe.”

“Oh! right, the safe,” he began eating some of it himself. You sigh and turn around. Eggs, well, another Eggs, is standing in front of you, displeased.

“I’m gone for 5 minutes and already you’re eating my corpse, well, another me’s corpse, is this what loyalty is?” Biscuits edges back a bit. You turn around and find more of Egg’s different time variations carrying the safe. You are a little disappointed you didn't get the job done yourself but at least you can go home now. You hear some struggle from Eggs and Biscuits behind you. Sounds like someone hit another, you turn around apathetically and see Eggs standing over Biscuits and Biscuits rubbing his face. You walk past them, you might as well head home, they didn’t need a supervisor to make sure the job got done, and even if they did screw something up, it’s not your problem. You hear trotting from behind you and find Biscuits huffing next to you, too close than you would prefer. Eggs seemed to be handling the safe issue all by himself with his various other selves and you suppose Biscuits was tired of getting beaten that day so he decided to follow you. Great.

“I’m going to go back with you!” he said eagerly.

You stop and slip on one of your gloves. You place one gloved finger on his forehead and shove him away, “How about you don’t follow me and find your own way back home.” You shove your finger in his head a little harder then turn around and walk forward. Again, you hear him huffing towards you, you groan, “did I not make myself clear? Don’t follow me.”

He looks at you with his big stupid eyes like a lost puppy, the kind you gave to fighter dogs as a warm up. You wouldn’t mind doing the same to Biscuits now that you thought about it. “I like you better than the other guys, you’re cool,” he says to you shyly.

“I know I am, now go away or you’ll reclaim that spot on my hit list,” you walk faster but somehow he keeps up.

“Hey whos on that list anyways?” you walk as fast as you can without running, Biscuits runs after you, he was rather fast for a fat fellow. “Is Eggs on there?”

You stop pacing so fastly, he wasn’t going to give up so no point in wasting energy and getting your suit wrinkled over it. “Of course he is, the whole gang is on the list to be quite honest.”

“But not me, right?” He smiles, you are surprised to find a hint of smugness in his expression.

“For right now, no, but you’re asking to be put back on if you don’t stop following me.”

“Are the Midnight Crew on the list?”

“Not exactly, I don’t have an avid desire to kill any one of them, but I will if the opportunity presents itself, more so out of the satisfaction of the kill than for the good of this gang,” are you really having an intelligible conversation with him? Baffling. You admit under breath, “If it weren’t for the power I get as a benefit from it, I wouldn’t be with these group of misfits in tailored suits at all.”

“Yeah… Me neither.” he whispers. It was more than just for power for you, of course, you wouldn't be alive at all if it weren't for the blood oath you’re under. You wonder at times if it’s worth it, but that thought isn’t unique to you, it’s clear that the majority of the people in this gang think similarily on the matter.

Biscuits starts to trail off and ramble about his own life, you pretend to not be paying attention but you hear every word. A childhood alone, being forced into a friendship with Eggs who was anything but a true friend, some more brutal occurrences that came with Eggs’ friendship that Biscuits didn’t seem to want to get into. Eggs being a science enthusiast but not knowing the difference between actual studies and needless torture. Overall, it was an absolutely pitiful story. He went on to talk about how the others treat him, things you see all of the time anyways, it was true that respect for others wasn’t a priority in that company. They treated Biscuits especially poorly, perhaps because he’s quiet and more likely to back away than to stand up for himself.

“And sometimes,” he said, “that’s why I don’t talk when someone is talking down to me…. They think I’m stupid but.” He paused, “I’m actually planning out their murder in my head as they talk to me.” You chuckle a bit, he seemed nothing more than an angry child planning this and that, but he ran in front of you, furrow browed and angry, “you think I’m lying too?! I swear! While the rest of you are too busy making fun of me, I know all the ways I can get you guys when you least expect it!”

“Alright, sport, do tell,” you roll your eyes at him.

He stutters a bit, “w-well, Crowbar always leaves his drink on his desk for long periods of time but then comes back and drinks it, I-I could slip something in it when no one is lookin! Or Fin! He always sleeps in the bathtub, I could electrocute him, we know how Fin is, they wouldn’t suspect me! And Itchy, um, he could easily run into traffic if I put my foot out at the right time.” These sounded like some simple yet nasty plans that could work, if it were someone other than Biscuits planning them but you did give him credit for at least thinking this far.

You nod and say to him demeaningly, “mmhmm, sounds like you have some good plans, but as I’ve seen before, you’re not exactly the clean cut type to execute these plans properly. I give you an A for effort, though.” You walk forward.

“I’m not done!” he stops you, daring to put his hands on your shirt. As if instinctively, you take off your glove and slap him with it. His eyes water, you’re sure it hurt his pride more than anything, if he had a pride that is. He whispers, “Your guns.”

You slip on your glove, “What about my guns, don’t expect me to allow you to use them for your little homicidal school project.”

“No. I jammed one of them real good, a bunch of chemicals Eggs was messing around with, but he’s an idiot and couldn’t figure out how to make anything useful with them. But I did and any one of them could blow up in your face the moment you move the right one.” You take a moment and stare at the smugness in his expression, which increased profusely and it was infuriating, especially in the context of your potential murder.

You lift him by his collar and snarl, “now tell me how ever the fuck did you go into my room to do that. That room is wired to tranquilize anyone other than me that enters.”

“What a waste of money that was, I broke it without you even finding out.” You dropped him, he landed on his ass and struggled to lift himself up again. You aren’t sure what makes you angrier, that he broke a piece of expensive equipment and devalued one of your guns, or the fact that he had any intention of murdering you at all. It probably pisses you off more that the simple plan would have probably worked if he hadn’t told you.

You gather yourself, he can’t exactly tell you which gun he rigged if he’s full of bullet holes, now can he? “Alright, kid, you’ve riled me, I commend you for that, not too many people can get on my nerves for me to lose my cool, but now you're going to tell me which gun you touched.” You hover over him with your minigun ready to shoot. He looks fearful one moment then he giggles.

“I was lying,” he bursted into laughter, as if testing your anger was something to laugh about. You were ready to have another set of teeth to make some new cufflinks but you remember that energy on someone like him would be wasted. You relax your arms, raise your gun, and walk away. You go up the stairwell to outside and hear Biscuits shout, “b-but, I could do that!”

For whatever reason you stop and look down at him, he was an idiot and irritating to even think about but he was only a kid, or at least in his mind. The skull smashing was a hint of potential in this boy, maybe he really will kill the people you hate and save you the trouble. You say to him, “then why don’t you?”

He looks at you sadly, “because I’m stupid, I’d probably screw one of my plans up and get caught… and then someone might yell at me. Just like you said.”

“Why don’t you drop that self pity shit.” His eyes widen, You light another cigar and continue, “smart plans aren't everyone's thing, neither is brute strength and animal-like rage, but you do have that.” He opens his mouth but doesn't say anything, his cheeks are red again. You puff out smoke, “You want to be respected, you have to talk less and do more, and quit wallowing in the dirt, you may be an animal but you don’t have to be a pig.” What pathetic creature he was, it was no wonder everyone talked down to him.

He got up and smiled, “you’re right, I want to be just like you, Quarters!”

You stare at his stupid smiling face, did you say something endearing? His cheeks had bruises and his teeth were crooked, the fact that his eyes were full of admiration only made you want to add another bruise to his collection. You felt yourself start to flush, you assume out of vexation.

You held the cigar in your mouth, and with your hands in your pockets, you continued up the stairs. The poor kid had a ways to go before he was even remotely like you.


End file.
